he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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