it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
