Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
