Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
