ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
