I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
