I want to have your abortion
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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