No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize