I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
