sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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