You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize