I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
