I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
