The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
