booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
