Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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