and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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