So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
