ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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