Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize