Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
