Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
