Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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