Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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