This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
