i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
