Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
