Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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