; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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