what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
