He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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