Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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