Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
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seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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