is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
