I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This is the high leading the old right now
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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