So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
