Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
