waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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