i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
