I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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