If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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