"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Fuck appropriateness.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
