I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize