I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
