I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
