There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
