A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
