im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
