Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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