Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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