Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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