I wannas sexs uuuuu
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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