I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
