oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
