Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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