just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
