Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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