she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
