Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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