I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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