Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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