and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
