i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
