Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
