Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Randomize
