How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
